Lina - Have the guts, got the glory

Hello, I am Kim. Tonight I’d like to tell you all something.

All the time I get messages, people telling me I’m an inspiration, somebody to look up to, somebody strong, well I’m not. I’m weak.

I think tonight, I’ve cracked. I’m the most upset I’ve been in years. I can’t stop crying.

Before I get any anon messages saying “attention seeking whore” or some shit like that, there’s no need to bother. This is my blog. I have the right to post whatever I like, so don’t go telling me I can’t post something I feel.

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I was a weak little girl. Vulnerable. I remember one day in the car I told dad I couldn’t stick the bullies at school anymore, but I couldn’t stand up for myself anymore, I didn’t know how to, I felt weak. Miserable.

I remember when I was 12 and I wanted to die. I remember everything that person did to me & how it made me feel inside. I can look around my room and picture myself crying all those tears. I can remember how I couldn’t tell anybody, nobody could know. They’d hate me.

I felt so alone. He made me want to die.

I tried it too, twice.

But I didn’t succeed. I’m still here.

I got through everything, with the help of my parents my friends.

I remember when somebody wanted to kill me, threatened to take my life, didn’t want me to be alive any longer.

I remember how they threatened me with my brothers life, and I remember shaking at my desk in Maths, knowing my brothers life was on the line, as well as mine.

I love my brother, so much.

I feel like I’ve had a lot to deal with.

I’ve had to stop somebody killing themselves, four times. It was hard. It was so so hard.

I haven’t thought about it all in so long, but now that I am I realise how serious it’s all been, what I went through when I was so young.

Tonight, Jonathan, a friend I know on here, wanted to end his life, but I wouldn’t let him, I won’t let him, it can’t happen.

It cuts me so fucking deep to think that people want to die. Precious human lives want to be taken. People want to escape the world, escape their bodies, just escape their lives.

It cuts me so fucking deep that people try, and people succeed. It breaks so many hearts around those who try and succeed, it breaks so many lives, families, homes & people.

I think I have just realised what I tried to do when I was 12. I’ve just realised how serious this all is.

Humans are precious. It’s amazing how one human can affect another.

Human lives are irreplaceable.

I know this is massive, but I needed to get it off my chest.

I also don’t understand it when people tell me they think i’m beautiful, therefore I shouldn’t be upset. Just because you think I look good, doesn’t mean I don’t have the right to be upset, and feel emotions, afterall, I’m only human. We all are.

If you’ve read this, remember, you’re beautiful, you’re amazing, never forget that, please.

Tyckte bara det var bra sagt. Hittat från: iamkim